Oh my gosh- my computer had a major breakdown. I felt so anxious about not being able to write my messages. I have built up so many topics from happenings in my life the past few weeks. But I will take today to send out a message about loss and the fear of loss. One of my most devoted readers, devoted friend and a very special person to me- someone I love- is in big trouble in the hospital. It is iffy whether he will survive. How do you process that. I spoke to him at 9:00 on Saturday and at midnight that same night he is in grave danger.
Alli and Nick, I know you have lost people close to you already and unfortunately there will be more. When that happens I want you to be comforted by the idea that you will have another person in heaven who will help to look out for you- to help do God's work. I believe that with all my heart. They are there to be called on.
I fear loss of people I love. The feeling of helplessness- it can be incapacitating just imagining it sometimes. Acceptance can be a long time coming. - but in the end, in this case I want what is best for him- for his quality of life. I felt the same way about dad. Some people just can't live being less than their best. So my prayer is not just to insure survival, but for the best outcome. The first reaction is "why did this happen"? Then acceptance and hope for the whatever is the best.
Love you.
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