Mothers ME!

Dear Nick, Alli and friends,

It's Mother's Day. What can I write about mother's day that hasn't already been written- a thousand times. But I want to anyway. My Mother's day plans were canceled due to rain- My mom and I would have had a great day selling her jewelry at a fair in Covington. But a movie later will be good.

So, I'm home Watching "Sunday Morning". The moment in nature this Sunday showed Otters with their babies. The moms were floating on their backs with the babies wringling around on their stomachs. Looked pretty uncomfortable for the mom.  But that short clip said a lot- Being a mom often means being uncomfortable. Lets start with the pregnancy! :-)  birth, breastfeeding.  Those are givens, but other times of discomfort, like with the otters, are purely taken on out of love:
    -staying still as our legs fall asleep and begin to tingle so we won't disturb your sleep,
     -carrying you when our arms are too tired,
     -laying on the floor of your room when you're sick in your crib,
    - reading the same book over and over and over
     -sitting in a freezing cold ice rink or on a hard bench
     -watching you cry over something we are helpless to fix (heart breaking)

     -teaching you to drive a car... and on and on

             Then there is the discomfort of letting go!  

Oh my- the empty nest. I remember my mother going through this and I was indifferent and a bit angry for the "drama" of it. "MOM!  that's silly to be like that."  (I'm sure I've eaten more words then those- but none as bitter ) This phenomenon is something that cannot really be put into words.  Overwhelming sometimes.

Riding by a school at dismissal can bring instant tears- seeing a little league ball game, girls in their prom dresses. Can we really have already gone through all that and now it's over?  How can that be?

Having had a stroke that mildly affected my memory, I wonder if what I am feeling- sort of a gap in time- is what other parents feel or if it is unique to me.  I know I lived it but it feels more like a dream.  I want one (or two) days to have Nick back at those mile marker years, 4 months, 9 months, 2 years etc. Probably would give my right arm. Might be more relaxed, less rushed, less crabby. 

Then the discomfort of "Was I good enough?"  Can our children say they learned anything positive from us? Was  my "helping" with the big projects good or bad for him?   Did I put him in the right day care, schools. Did I yell too much/too little. My plans for introductions to the master artist and composers went out the door when the Titanic and ice hockey became more important. Should I have been like the "Tiger Moms" in Japan (or was that China?)    aaaauuggggg! it goes on and on- for me anyway.  

So Nick and Alli- moms do what they know to do- no instruction manuals. Being a mom is about being in a bit of discomfort many many times in our lives because this is a love like no other love. Your job as sons and daughters is to occasionally remind us that we did all right, at least at times, tell us about a time that you remember something we did for you, let us know you did learn something positive from us.

Lie if you have to- ha ha ha- we deserve it.  

And a happy Mothers Day to my mom- I'll do the same.

Love you,